ok, so i really need to be asleep at this moment... lbj hospital is a douche and signs me up for all morning appointments, with the exception of 2 weeks from now. hmmm. also, my baby keeps moving which is a constant reminder of the fact that we find out what my baby is tomorrow... not helping anything!
im just too excited to sleep.
lately ive been a bit cynical... well not really, but i havent really been the type of person who lets things get by me without noticing. pregnancy, for some unknown reason, makes you really smart. (well at least in my case). i notice that a lot of people dont have ambitions of their own... like they are always following someone else... and everyone else just wants to be followed... god, i feel like telling some people to get their own minds, and others to drop the freaking ego. just because youre good at something doesnt mean that you have to be like kanye west and make a scene about it...
all youre really doing is showcasing every other insecurity that you have.
i feel as if this is why dj and i are doing so well with each other. we know each other too well first off, to have alter egos, and second with the baby coming, your insecurities are kind of out on the table. you cant afford to hide things about who you are anymore. its nice to be myself with someone, and i know he feels the same... i really need to thank god more often for this man instead of cursing him. shit, he may be broke, but he is struggling to make a better life for me. and he may not be in the best circumstance, but he makes me happier than ive ever been. sometimes i wish i didnt gripe so much about the bad, and let him see how much i really love all of the good.
well now im kind of sleepy!
hope this touches someone in need.
peace.
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