I can't belive that I just called Alex at 3:20 in the morning to read him a blog I wrote 3 years ago. God, you make me do some CRAZY things... It feels good to feel you presence in my life again though.... I have missed you SOOOOO much. You have no clue. If this blog was the only reason that you let me get into this entangled mess of things for the past week, then thank you... I have fallen so short of your glory... and your wisdom... HOW could I have been so FOOLISH?? I can't believe that I could have turned away from you like I did. I let heartbreak from a relationship get in the way of a relationship that saves my life daily... I want to shout your praises from the rooftop... and as crazy as this may sound, I KNOW for sure now that you are in that tree when I pray. God I need to change a lot of things. I don't like the way that I have been living my life... I want to live for you again... I have been running away from the good that I felt in your holy presence Lord. I can't help it but to be excited!! I feel like it's all coming together for me now. I feel like I have seen the much needed light at the end of the tunnel; the light that I haven't been searching for, but was eager to see. How can you find something though when you aren't even searching? Oh God, I can't say it enough, but I have missed you so much!! I want to just grab the first person I see and pray with them. I hope that my life steadily turns out to get better, and that I don't forget this feeling when I return home to the chaos. Help me to find you in all that I do Lord. And thank you Lord, for Alex. Without him, and John, I would have never come back here. I needed you so badly. I can't explain the ways! I love you God. Thank you for all that you have given, and done for me. Words cannot explain how amazing you are!!

Amen

Lost

Dear Lord,


Today I found out that a friend of mine was put in jail last night. His brother is suffering greatly from this loss. Unfortunately, I cannot be the one to console him. I just pray that you are with him tonight especially. I pray that he turns to you in his pain dear God because you can heal great pain with your loving hand better than any human touch. I pray that this prayer fills his heart with peace, and that he is able to sleep through the night soundly. I pray that in the midst of all of the bad that is going on right now, that he finds strength and wisdom in you oh God. Please help him to overcome any feelings of hurt or regret, because this is your plan and not his. Help him to have the wisdom to realize this, and not take fault for the things that have occured. I also pray that you be with his brother, who is probably feeling a lot of regret right now. I pray that you also help him to have the wisdom to see this situation in your light, and the courage to see things in a positive light. I pray that you give the family a positive outlook on a gloomy situation, and that you bring them together in this hard time. To know that someone is in a jail cell almost feels like losing a life, but let them know that they are in fact gaining one, God. I know that if you allowed this to happen that it will turn out for the best. God, help Alex to be strong Lord. He may feel as if he has fallen from your graces, but I hope that tonight he finds his solace in you. God I thank you for all of the many blessings that you have bestowed upon me, and I thank you for your unconditional love and forgiveness... For I am one of the worst sinners, and your light shines in me because of this. Let me be more like you, and instead of me giving humanly comfort, let me give heavenly comfort. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.